SINGLE WINDOW FOR MARRIAGES
(fiction, humour)
V.S.Gopalakrishnan
My son Vishwas studying in the USA and specialising in the bio-metrological properties of xerotic skin, came out with an unusual discovery. He conveyed it to me and that caused in me considerable discomfiture. The discovery, not related to the said bio-metrological properties, was simply a girl whom he wanted to marry. I thought that Nebraska produced endless tornados but it had produced this girl also. She had produced the twister effect on Vishwas' mind that lost its balance and went up in the air.
He asked for my permission to marry her. My wife Poornima's permission was not required as it was taken for granted. Which son listens to a father during this Kali Yuga? I told him to go ahead and marry her on one proviso. She should not be a lawyer since lawyers keep arguing, fight and tell lies and misguide those under their jurisdiction. Vishwas clarified that his gori sweetheart Lucille was a Literature student and that only her parents were lawyers. I told Vishwas not to go near the said lawyers as they misguide the clients. Lucille should herself seek her parents' nod for the marriage without his putting any appearance.
Times have changed and gori daughters-in-law are becoming the norm. Vishwas said that Lucille wanted three marriages. "Is she not marrying just one person, you?" I queried.
The trouble was that Lucille had an ex-boyfriend Andrew who married finally a Tamilian girl called Pushpavalli studying in the USA. They had three riotous marriages. One was in the Church (Pentecostal or Seventh Day Adventist or Mormon or Catholic or whatever, I don't remember now). The second wedding was as per Vedic rites (and wrongs). The third wedding was at the Office of the Registrar of Births, Deaths, Marriages, Murders and Suicides. A whole pot of gold was spent in the three marriage riots. And I don't know who footed the bills.
Lucille now wanted to copy Andrew and have three weddings with my son. And since this was the first desire coming from Lucille- God knows how many million desires of hers poor Vishwas would have to fulfil - Vishwas was in an utter mood to surrender to Lucille's three-wedding demand.
I thought that three weddings were a nonsense unless he was marrying three girls. Times were fast changing since live-ins were going out of fashion getting bombed by the new fashion of three weddings.
Having worked in Maharashtra Government which promises single window clearances, not for marriage but for industrial and other approvals, I thought of telling the Chief Minister to establish a Single Window set up for three weddings also (which would save our expenditure considerably). Which would mean that the vedic priests and the Registrar would temporarily shift to the inside of a Church for the triple wedding. But the CM who said that the idea was brilliant, wanted a few years' time for implementing this in order to coincide it with the next election as this will get more timely votes. However, Lucille and Vishwas were not eager to wait till elections.
In such complicated matters, I take the advice of my grandmother who is 95. She said she would directly talk to Lucille in this matter and that Vishwas would be the interpreter. So the tete-a -tete between Lucille and my grand mom got arranged. And what a marvellous surprise it was that Lucille came out from the meeting happily convinced that only the Vedic marriage will do!
-----------
I soon went to see my grand mother and asked her as to how she did the magic. She reported to me the following conversation:
Grandmother : " Look Lucille, do you want your husband to stray after marrying you?"
Lucille: "No, no! Is there any trick about it?"
Grandmother: "Since he will marry you again Vedically at the age of 60, and it is called Shashtiabdapoorthi, he will not stray in between!"
Lucille: "Wow! A second marriage at 60! Sounds perfect! And can he stray after 60?"
Grandmother: " There is a third marriage with you when he will reach 80! That is called Sathaabhishekam! That is to mark living through a 1000 full moons! So he cannot stray till 80!"
Lucille: "Wow, this is simply fantastic and unbelieveable! I get three marriages this way! And it does not matter if he is not faithful to me after 80!"
============================================
(fiction, humour)
(fiction, humour)
V.S.Gopalakrishnan
My son Vishwas studying in the USA and specialising in the bio-metrological properties of xerotic skin, came out with an unusual discovery. He conveyed it to me and that caused in me considerable discomfiture. The discovery, not related to the said bio-metrological properties, was simply a girl whom he wanted to marry. I thought that Nebraska produced endless tornados but it had produced this girl also. She had produced the twister effect on Vishwas' mind that lost its balance and went up in the air.
He asked for my permission to marry her. My wife Poornima's permission was not required as it was taken for granted. Which son listens to a father during this Kali Yuga? I told him to go ahead and marry her on one proviso. She should not be a lawyer since lawyers keep arguing, fight and tell lies and misguide those under their jurisdiction. Vishwas clarified that his gori sweetheart Lucille was a Literature student and that only her parents were lawyers. I told Vishwas not to go near the said lawyers as they misguide the clients. Lucille should herself seek her parents' nod for the marriage without his putting any appearance.
Times have changed and gori daughters-in-law are becoming the norm. Vishwas said that Lucille wanted three marriages. "Is she not marrying just one person, you?" I queried.
The trouble was that Lucille had an ex-boyfriend Andrew who married finally a Tamilian girl called Pushpavalli studying in the USA. They had three riotous marriages. One was in the Church (Pentecostal or Seventh Day Adventist or Mormon or Catholic or whatever, I don't remember now). The second wedding was as per Vedic rites (and wrongs). The third wedding was at the Office of the Registrar of Births, Deaths, Marriages, Murders and Suicides. A whole pot of gold was spent in the three marriage riots. And I don't know who footed the bills.
Lucille now wanted to copy Andrew and have three weddings with my son. And since this was the first desire coming from Lucille- God knows how many million desires of hers poor Vishwas would have to fulfil - Vishwas was in an utter mood to surrender to Lucille's three-wedding demand.
I thought that three weddings were a nonsense unless he was marrying three girls. Times were fast changing since live-ins were going out of fashion getting bombed by the new fashion of three weddings.
Having worked in Maharashtra Government which promises single window clearances, not for marriage but for industrial and other approvals, I thought of telling the Chief Minister to establish a Single Window set up for three weddings also (which would save our expenditure considerably). Which would mean that the vedic priests and the Registrar would temporarily shift to the inside of a Church for the triple wedding. But the CM who said that the idea was brilliant, wanted a few years' time for implementing this in order to coincide it with the next election as this will get more timely votes. However, Lucille and Vishwas were not eager to wait till elections.
In such complicated matters, I take the advice of my grandmother who is 95. She said she would directly talk to Lucille in this matter and that Vishwas would be the interpreter. So the tete-a -tete between Lucille and my grand mom got arranged. And what a marvellous surprise it was that Lucille came out from the meeting happily convinced that only the Vedic marriage will do!
-----------
I soon went to see my grand mother and asked her as to how she did the magic. She reported to me the following conversation:
Grandmother : " Look Lucille, do you want your husband to stray after marrying you?"
Lucille: "No, no! Is there any trick about it?"
Grandmother: "Since he will marry you again Vedically at the age of 60, and it is called Shashtiabdapoorthi, he will not stray in between!"
Lucille: "Wow! A second marriage at 60! Sounds perfect! And can he stray after 60?"
Grandmother: " There is a third marriage with you when he will reach 80! That is called Sathaabhishekam! That is to mark living through a 1000 full moons! So he cannot stray till 80!"
Lucille: "Wow, this is simply fantastic and unbelieveable! I get three marriages this way! And it does not matter if he is not faithful to me after 80!"
============================================
(fiction, humour)
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