SECRET MEETING BETWEEN ANNAJI AND BABA RAMDEV

SECRET MEETING BETWEEN ANNAJI AND BABA RAMDEV

V.S.Gopalakrishnan
(HUMOUR: FICTION)

It was the end of August 2012. Anna and Ramdev had a secret meeting in Aligarh in a house belonging to an RSS worker. A couple of Muslim office bearers of Parties labeled as Hindutva parties were also present. Anna’s forehead had more worry lines than ever before signifying his fast ageing and the fast deterioration in his mental resolve too. Ramdev had more grey hair in his beard than ever before signifying that time was running fast if not out, for him.

These two stalwarts looked at the ceiling of the room almost in the manner of a synchronized head-up, and they noticed the unwritten word “corruption” on it. And then their eyes met.

Anna said to Ramdev, “Poojya Ramdevji! Corruption is like the invisible devil. We have been fighting the invisible. It’s time we singled out the Dynasty and try to get rid of that. More than half the problem will get solved in India in that case”.

Ramdevji replied, “Why not target the whole Congress instead of just the Dynasty? And there are Dynasties in many States such as in Kashmir, in UP, in the DMK party etc and what do we do about these Dynasties?”

Anna said to Ramdev, “Mahaashay! The Central Government’s budget is at least one hundred times as big as the budgets of a few States put together where there are Dynasties. The central Dynasty can therefore loot one hundred-thousand crores where the State-Dynasties could be able to loot say one thousand crores! Let us concentrate our target on the Central Dynasty only!”

And Ramdevji was seen nodding assent to this reasoning.

Mr.Saqvi Siddiqui, a Muslim office-bearer of a Hindutva party came in the picture now.



Saqvi advised Anna and Ramdev thus: “Look, you Hindus are poor fighters. You Hindus are genetically deficient in violence. The only way to fight is to become violent. Look at the way the Muslim crowd in Azad Maidan of Mumbai,  while protesting against Assam and Myanmar, nicely beat up four dozen policemen and burnt buses and properties! Hindus should convert to Islam to resort to violence. Look at Chander Mohan, ex-Deputy CM of Haryana. He became a Muslim in order to marry his sweet-heart Anuradha Bali who became Fiza Mohammad, and once his purpose was achieved he reconverted to Hinduism. Why not all Hindus in India temporarily convert to Islam for a few months? Then they will have the guts to take on the Dynasty.”

Ramdev Baba saw some merit in this argument. He had changed his dress once to suit an important purpose. Why not temporarily change religion if that can give you guts to take on difficult people?

But Anna would not accept this idea. It would be impossible to mass-convert Hindus to Islam, even temporarily.

Ramdev was not the one to be deterred. He explained to Anna that he had toured lakhs of villages, and his shakhas cover every nook and corner of India. He therefore exuded confidence and stated that under his inspiring leadership, it would be possible to effect mass conversion of Hindus into Islam.

Annaji would not however give up.

“Look, Ramdev babaji!” he said! And he added, “I have an alternate idea. Let us collect one hundred rupees from each Indian. Therefore we will have 100 billion rupees from the Indians. Let us open an account in the name of Rahulji in a bank and credit the amount and request the Dynasty to leave India to Indians. “

Ramdevji was happy at this idea. He gave out such a big laughter that I got up from my sleep and dream world.

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RACE KILLING IN WISCONSIN: TIME TO ABANDON TURBAN AND BEARD?

RACE KILLING IN WISCONSIN: TIME TO ABANDON TURBAN AND BEARD?

V.S.Gopalakrishnan

When you are in Rome do as Romans do. I have seen in Chennai many foreigners (men) wearing dhotis and kurtas. The three-fingered “Vibhuti” band or the “Namam” on the foreheads of South Indian Brahmins have practically disappeared in Tamil Nadu. Religious distinguishing marks have been vanishing in general. Five or six decades ago I have seen Triplicane muslims wearing “fez” but that is gone. Kemal Ataturk got rid of fez and beard in Turkey.

Dress codes have changed sharply in a modernizing India. Even in small towns, girls are wearing jeans. Into the South, the salwar and kameez style has made an invasion from the North. The South Indian dosa and iddlis have not only got out into the rest of India but have gone global. Culture, as represented in attire and eating habits, has greatly changed in India.

As far as Sikhs are concerned, the tenth guru, Guru Gobind Singh, in 1699, made five Ks obligatory for Sikhs, and they are (1) Kesh – long hair and beard, and a turban on the head  (2) Kanga – comb (3) Kara – iron bracelet (4) Kachera –underwear and (5) Kirpan – curved sword. This was more than three hundred  years ago.

What we see is that many younger Sikh men shave and don’t wear turban. Some of the well-known clean shaven Sikhs are Gulzar, late Jagjit Singh (ghazal singer), actor Dharmender, Ajay Devgun, Dara Singh, the famous Dalip Singh Saund (in USA) and so many others.

Nowadays matrimonial advertisements relating to Sikhs contain very often specific requirements for shaven Sikhs! So, we have been seeing departures from strict so-called religious codes and orthodoxy. Religions born in India are that way flexible and don’t excommunicate those who make departures. Even in the highly orthodox Islam, strictest adherence in terms of beards and burkhas are not being observed.

So, what is the problem if the Sikhs abroad shave and drop their turban? The younger Sikhs in any case don’t have turban and beard. The President of the Wisconsin Gurdwara who was killed had a beard but his son who has been giving interviews is a clean shaven young man.

The Sikh turban and the beard have always posed problems with authorities all over the world. And this was much before 9/11. The problems have risen in the recruitments to Defences Services, Police Services etc in the countries of their settlement such as Canada, USA etc. Some years ago, in 2000, I was in Canada and I was shocked to see newspaper reports saying that Sikhs wanted their children to be allowed into school carrying kirpan! I thought that that was ridiculous. And post 9/11, can the Sikhs go into aircraft carrying kirpans?

I have been watching some TV debates post the Wisconsin Gurdwara shooting that took place on Sunday, 5^th August. The killer Wade known to be a racist and upset about job loss due to outsiders, had done the butchering. I was quite amused to note many participants in the debate blaming the American Government in not educating all the Americans that the Sikhs are not Talibans although they have beards and turbans! Let me tell you, I myself saw the first Sikh in my life only when I was 15 years old. The turbaned and bearded image of Osama Bin Laden is so inevitably etched in every American mind. No wonder, the uninformed white Americans might suspect that the turban and beard Sikh-wallahs are radical Muslims likely to create trouble. The younger Americans don’t even know enough about Christianity and no one can educate them about the Sikh religion and the 5 Ks!

Come on, Sikhs! This is a good opportunity to review the relevance of the 5 Ks to modern living! There is no point in making a fetish of your religion in external aspects and symbols when you go and settle abroad. You won’t even get a Gurdwara in the Middle East and in Saudi Arabia.

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BOXING SHOULD BE BANNED

BOXING SHOULD BE BANNED

Yes! I am saying that boxing should be banned. The other day, I saw the Olympics boxing event figuring India’s Devendra Singh defeating his Mongolian rival Serdamba Purevdorj. I was very glad that the puny and fragile Indian - it was a light fly weight category of 49 kg - won the fight convincingly. But after watching the event I told myself equally convincingly that boxing should be banned.

Boxing is indeed a fascinating sport. Even women like to watch it. The terrible thing about the latest big boxing news is that for the first time women-boxing has been introduced into Olympics this year, in London 2012! God, this horribly nasty sport which makes animal of men, has been extended to women! Is this the way to achieve gender non-discrimination? The fine, fair sex which we want to keep tantalizingly delicate and vulnerable has been allowed into a rakshas sport of men! The headline-news today is that India’s lady boxer Mary Kom (51kg) began her campaign by beating Poland’s Karolina Michalczuk with a score of 19-14. What a way to go for the fairer sex!

In my young days and more particularly in the 1950s, it was Rocky Marciano, the great American heavy-weight boxer, who greatly captured my imagination. He was the world champion for four years from 1952 to 1956, and unfortunately he died in a small-plane crash later in 1969 at the age of 46 only. The Hindu was the newspaper of Chennai that gave us wonderful world-wide news and I kept pace with Rocky Marciano’s progress. And when I joined the Intermediate Class in 1955, I even enrolled myself for boxing sport although I was thin but I had the height and thank God I did not stick with it.

In the 1960s, it was Cassius Clay, who later changed his name to Mohammad Ali, who captured my fancy. There was no TV then and no way of watching any of his matches, but his fascinating boxing career followed from newspaper reports held me spell-bound. He was known for his big height and figure, handsomeness and a big 80 inch reach. He refused to be conscripted for the Viet Nam War for which the American Government carried out a reprisal by having his boxing titles taken away! After contesting his case for several years, he won his fight against his conscription in the Supreme Court.

The 1980s saw Mike Tyson becoming the heavy-weight champion but to me he never looked as winsome and classy as Mohammad Ali. He seemed crude and indeed, many may recollect, he bit off the ear of Evander Holyfield in a bout in 1999! Tyson was notorious for drug habits and was convicted and sentenced for rape, for six years. One of his nicknames was “The Baddest man on the Planet”! I really never cared much for Tyson, known for scintillating knock-out victories, and I began to lose interest in boxing.

And lo and behold, after several years, I watched a bout exhibiting our Devendra Singh in the Olympics the other day. I thought that the sport lends no dignity to man. It involves punching of the other man most particularly on the face. This is a ferocious and animalistic act and it brings out the worst instincts in man. Unless you want to kill an enemy you will not punch his face with ferocity. You can see all the venom and competitive hatred and animosity on the boxer’s face. Of course protective guards are being used by boxers nowadays but there are several instances of boxers getting killed or breaking their noses, and I feel that no sport should directly lead to that. People have died in action playing cricket and football but those are accidents. Even in wrestling, while force is there, the killer instinct of punching the face does not exist. Many countries have abolished even cock-fights, and it is time we abolish the unsightly and cruel sport of boxing.

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BUDDHIST COUNTRIES HAVE BUILT STRONG SOCIAL FABRIC BUT NOT STRONG DHARMIC INDIVIDUALS

V.S.Gopalakrishnan

Amongst the Buddhist countries practising either the Theravada (formerly called Hinayana, the old tradition) or the Mahayana (the modified tradition), I have visited Japan, China, South Korea, Thailand, Singapore, Myanmar (known earlier as Burma) and Cambodia. I have not yet travelled to Sri Lanka, Laos and Viet Nam which are also Buddhist. Two years ago, I wrote here a series of 4 blogs historically tracing the spread of Buddhism from India to Afghanistan, Central Asia, China, Korea, Japan, Indonesia, Cambodia etc.

Though Buddhism has very steeply declined in India, the countries that have adopted it are steadfast in the preservation of Buddhist culture. I believe that Islam or Christianity cannot pose any danger to them. I shall soon post a blog on the reasons for the decline of Buddhism in India.

The old Theravada (Hinayana) tradition encouraged the sanctifying of only Buddha's relics such as teeth, ash, bones etc. No statues were to be built for him. But the modified Mahayana tradition almost gave god-hood to Buddha and his statues began to proliferate everywhere rather ironically. Buddha in fact did not believe in God or statue-worship. Some clever Hindus have added Buddha within the Dasaavathaar!

Going by the experience of Hinduism, statues or idols play an important role in helping the mind to captivate the sense and essence of God and its attributes. That way, I would believe that the millions of statues of Buddha all over the Buddhist countries have been a significant factor in cementing the Buddhist societies. Even in the Theravadin countries such as Sri Lanka, Myanmar and Thailand, the statues abound apart from the relics. The Buddhist temples, stupas, viharas, chaityas, monasteries etc. have contributed to the strong social stablisation of the practitioners of Buddhism, both the clergy and the laymen. The making of Buddha's statues (sitting, standing or reclining) has spawned great and amazing levels of artistry amongst these people.

Most of us are aware of the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path preached by Buddha. Let us quickly recapitulate them.

THE FOUR NOBLE TRUTHS:

• Life consists of suffering (Dukkha)
• The origin of suffering is attachment.
• The cessation of suffering is possible.
• The path to the cessation of suffering. 

THE EIGHTFOLD PATH:
1. Right understanding
2. Right thinking 
3. Right speech
4. Right action
5. Right livelihood 
6. Right effort
7. Right mindfulness
8. Right collectedness/concentration.
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The 4 Noble Truths explain the cause of human suffering in terms of metaphysical analysis. The Eightfold Path explains the path to overcoming the suffering and to attainment of calm, peace, wisdom and liberation (Nirvana) in terms of postulates for thinking and action. The Eightfold Path is also called the Middle Path or Middle Way, avoiding the extremes of self-mortification or self-indulgence.

What is not well-publicised and not well known to the public including even Buddhists are the precise ethical commandments or precepts advocated by the Buddha for individual behaviour which are called Pancha Shila or Five Precepts. It lays down Five Ethical Commandments as follows:

1. "Do not kill." (Unintentional killing is considered less offensive)
2. "Do not steal." (Including misappropriating someone's property)
3. "Do not engage in improper sexual conduct." (e.g. sexual contact not sanctioned by secular laws, the Buddhist monastic code, or by one's parents and guardians)
4. "Do not tell lies or make false statements." (Also includes pretending to know something one doesn't)
5. "Do not drink alcohol."

Do the Buddhists, as individuals follow the Five Precepts? No way. That is the failure of Buddhism. No one talks about this or writes about this strangely! Everyone talks about the theoretical Noble Truths and Middle Way!

The first precept says "do not kill". Yet, the Buddhists are non-vegetarians, fierce fighters, bloody warriors, cool killers and are given to terrific violence! Buddha himself died from consuming stale pork. The Chinese eat even cats, dogs and monkeys. Here the Jains come out in a better light! The other four precepts too (excepting stealing) are usually observed by the Buddhists in their breach. If only all the five precepts had been properly followed, the Buddhists would have been on a much higher plane than the members of other religions. That is why I have said in the title that Buddhism has provided a strong social fabric but not strong dharmic individuals.

It is somewhat strange that Buddha has not vehemently preached love, charity, generosity, sharing etc which other religions have usually done. It is also strange to me that he did not realise an Ultimate Reality, a Paramatman, the One Truth, the Almighty , the Creator or whatever you call it.
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RAAT ANDHERI DOOR SAVERA~~~~~~

Original singer: Mukeshji. Here is my version/rendition.
Movie: AAH (1953)
What a lovely old classic this is, evoking the mood, atmosphere, ambience and desolation of the night reflecting the anguish of the singer on the screen, Raj Kapoor! I grew with this song in my early teens. Lovely music by Shankar-Jaikisan. Lyrics were by Hasrat Jaipuri.




LYRICS

raat andheri door saveraa
barbaad hai dil meraa o... ) -2

( aanaa bhi chaahein aa na sake ham
koi nahin aasaraa ) -2
khoyee hai manzil rastaa hai mushkil
chaand bhi aaj chhupaa, ho...
raat andheri door saveraa
barbaad hai dil meraa o...

( aah bhi roye raah bhi roye
soojhe na baat koi ) -2
thodi umar hai soonaa safar hai
begaana saath koi, ho...
raat andheri door saveraa
barbaad hai dil meraa o... -2
barbaad hai dil meraa

SINGLE WINDOW FOR MARRIAGES

SINGLE WINDOW FOR MARRIAGES
(fiction, humour)
V.S.Gopalakrishnan
My son Vishwas studying in the USA and specialising in the bio-metrological properties of xerotic skin, came out with an unusual discovery. He conveyed it to me and that caused in me considerable discomfiture. The discovery, not related to the said bio-metrological properties, was simply a girl whom he wanted to marry. I thought that Nebraska produced endless tornados but it had produced this girl also. She had produced the twister effect on Vishwas' mind that lost its balance and went up in the air.

He asked for my permission to marry her. My wife Poornima's permission was not required as it was taken for granted. Which son listens to a father during this Kali Yuga? I told him to go ahead and marry her on one proviso. She should not be a lawyer since lawyers keep arguing, fight and tell lies and misguide those under their jurisdiction. Vishwas clarified that his gori sweetheart Lucille was a Literature student and that only her parents were lawyers. I told Vishwas not to go near the said lawyers as they misguide the clients. Lucille should herself seek her parents' nod for the marriage without his putting any appearance.

Times have changed and gori daughters-in-law are becoming the norm. Vishwas said that Lucille wanted three marriages. "Is she not marrying just one person, you?" I queried.
The trouble was that Lucille had an ex-boyfriend Andrew who married finally a Tamilian girl called Pushpavalli studying in the USA. They had three riotous marriages. One was in the Church (Pentecostal or Seventh Day Adventist or Mormon or Catholic or whatever, I don't remember now). The second wedding was as per Vedic rites (and wrongs). The third wedding was at the Office of the Registrar of Births, Deaths, Marriages, Murders and Suicides. A whole pot of gold was spent in the three marriage riots. And I don't know who footed the bills.

Lucille now wanted to copy Andrew and have three weddings with my son. And since this was the first desire coming from Lucille- God knows how many million desires of hers poor Vishwas would have to fulfil - Vishwas was in an utter mood to surrender to Lucille's three-wedding demand.

I thought that three weddings were a nonsense unless he was marrying three girls. Times were fast changing since live-ins were going out of fashion getting bombed by the new fashion of three weddings.

Having worked in Maharashtra Government which promises single window clearances, not for marriage but for industrial and other approvals, I thought of telling the Chief Minister to establish a Single Window set up for three weddings also (which would save our expenditure considerably). Which would mean that the vedic priests and the Registrar would temporarily shift to the inside of a Church for the triple wedding. But the CM  who said that the idea was brilliant, wanted a few years' time for implementing this in order to coincide it with the next election as this will get more timely votes. However, Lucille and Vishwas were not eager to wait till elections.

In such complicated matters, I take the advice of my grandmother who is 95. She said she would directly talk to Lucille in this matter and that Vishwas would be the interpreter. So the tete-a -tete between Lucille and my grand mom got arranged. And what a marvellous surprise it was that Lucille came out from the meeting happily convinced that only the Vedic marriage will do!
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I soon went to see my grand mother and asked her as to how she did the magic. She reported to me the following conversation:

Grandmother : " Look Lucille, do you want your husband to stray after marrying you?"
Lucille: "No, no! Is there any trick about it?"
Grandmother: "Since he will marry you again Vedically at the age of 60, and it is called Shashtiabdapoorthi, he will not stray in between!"
Lucille: "Wow! A second marriage at 60! Sounds perfect! And can he stray after 60?"
Grandmother: " There is a third marriage with you when he will reach 80! That is called Sathaabhishekam! That is to mark living through a 1000 full moons! So he cannot stray till 80!"
Lucille: "Wow, this is simply fantastic and unbelieveable! I get three marriages this way! And it does not matter if he is not faithful to me after 80!"
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(fiction, humour)

MAINE DIL SE KAHAA ~~~~

Original singer: K.K. (K.K.Menon /Krishnakumar Kunnath Menon).
Here is my version/rendition. The film was ROG (2005). Music was by M.M.Kreem.

 

LYRICS (from Net)

(maine dil se kaha, dhund laana khushi
nasamajh laya gum, toh yeh gum hi sahi) -- (2)
maine dil se kaha dhund laana khushi

bechaara kahan jaanta hai, khalish hai yeh kya khala hai
shehar bhar ki khushi se, yeh dard mera bhala hai
jashna yeh raaz na aaye, maza toh bas ghum mein aaya hai
maine dil se kaha, dhund laana khushi
nasamajh laya gum, toh yeh gum hi sahi

kabhi hai ishq ka ujaala, kabhi hai maut ka andhera
bataao kaun bhes hoga, main jogi banu ya lutera
kayi chehre hai iss dil ke, najaane kaunsa mera
maine dil se kaha dhund laana khushi
nasamajh laya gum, toh yeh gum hi sahi

hazaaro aise phaasle the, jo tai karne chale the
raahen magar chal padi thi, aur peeche hum rah gaye the
kadam do chaar chal paaye, kiye phere tere mann ke
(maine dil se kaha, dhund laana khushi
nasamajh laya gum, toh yeh gum hi sahi) -- (2